True Marriage

In my last blog I commented on the growing trend of celebrating sin, specifically homosexuality and so called homosexual marriage. How will we Christians react to this challenge to traditional marriage? The only answer that will work is by defining what the Bible says about marriage and then putting that truth to work in our lives.

Hebrews 13:4 says that “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled.” Therefore what does not fit in with the biblical definition of marriage is thus dishonorable.  As Proverbs 16:25 says “There is a way that seems right to a man but its end is the way of death.” So what is the biblical pattern for marriage?

Genesis 2:18, 21-25 says “And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him…And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said:
      “This is now bone of my bones
      And flesh of my flesh;
      She shall be called Woman,
      Because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

So, what is the pattern? Here is the answer:  male and female; adult to adult; one man, one woman; leaving parents and cleaving to one another and no shame in the sexual union.

Marriage, true marriage, is a powerful and beautiful thing. It is where a man and a woman work together to lighten the burdens and sorrows of life. It is where they work together to help each other become their best for God, their children and for one another. It is the most complete, the most intense, and the most beautiful relationship possible between two human beings.

The Bible commands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29).” This was and is revolutionary! A husband is to pour himself into his wife’s welfare; her needs come before his needs.

And yes, “Wives,[are to] submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).” This is not groveling submission. This is a voluntary arrangement and submission to serve another, to help him be his best. It is submission to someone who strives to love his wife sacrificially like Christ. This not servile submission to a couch potato dictator. This is selfless service to bring honor to the husband and family. There is great honor and dignity in both roles of husband and wife.

Marriage at its best is a man and a woman who strive not for dominance but to serve in love. Nowhere does a Christian have as many opportunities for becoming more like Christ than in the marriage relationship. Why? In a marriage you are with someone in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, and in all of those situations there are opportunities to encourage one another, pray for one another, challenge one another and honor one another.

How awe inspiring it is to see the beauty of another person and to bring the best out of him or her. How wonderful it is to become intimate in soul, mind, heart and body – to actually “become one flesh (Genesis 1:24; Ephesians 5:31). But like all great things in life, marriage takes work. A happy marriage is impossible for those who never take the biblical steps needed to make it shine. But we can, because we, “can do all things through Christ who strengthens [us] (Philippians 4:13).”