Marriage Is Not A 50/50 Proposition

What makes a good, long lasting marriage? That’s a question that social scientists and counselors have tried to answer for many years. And it is a very important question. The Americans for Divorce Reform organization say that close to 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages and 74% for third marriages. That is sad news!

Karl Pillemer. Ph. D. is the Professor / Director Cornell Institute for Translational Research on Aging. He did research asking 1, 000 older couples about their experience in marriage. The Research was called “The Legacy Project.” When the couples were asked the key to a successful long term marriage the boiled down answer was “give and take.” Wanting to understand the cliché Pillemer asked, “So you mean that marriage has to be a 50-50 kind of thing, right? A 50-50 proposition.” The answer was no, marriage is to be an 100% affair.

In our society a lot of people think that marriage is a 50-50 arrangement. Both husband and wife contribute equally in the relationship. But the problem with this kind of thinking (the old timers said) was that it leads to holding back and keeping score. For long term success each person needs to decide to give more than they receive. And the attitude has to be one of giving freely.

Crystal, one of the women in the study said, “People always say you have to be more assertive and you have to take what you need, but I could never relate to that. I have a friend who keeps going through one marriage after another and saying, ‘Well, I didn’t get what I needed in that marriage.’ And I thought, ‘Well, did you give anything out?’ ”

That’s good advice and it sounds a lot like the Bible. Philippians 2:4 states “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” And in Ephesians we read, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her (v. 25).” And “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord…let the wife see that she respects her husband (vss. 22, 33).” What a wonderful marriage it would be where husbands and wives loved one another sacrificially and with deep respect. It would produce a beautiful life.

Violence: The Koran vs. the Bible

Last week I wrote about the difference between Muhammad and Jesus Christ. My inspiration for the blog was the violence and protests at U.S. Embassies and other sites around the world. I asserted that Muslims are only following in the footpaths of their prophet. It can be historically verified that Muhammad spread Islam with a literal sword.

But once you say that violence is inherent in Islam there are those who want to equate the violence in Islam with the violence recorded in the Bible, especially in the Old Testament. The question is then, are the commands of Yahweh to the Israelites in the Old Testament the same as jihad prescribed in the Koran? In order to answer that question let’s first define jihad.

The word “jihad” means “striving” or “struggle and there are several areas of jihad. There is the jihad of the pen which involves persuasion or instruction in promoting Islam. There is the jihad of the heart where you wrestle with yourself to overcome sin. But then there is the jihad that promotes physical violence and warfare to advance the religion.  Here are two examples from the Koran.

Sura 9:5 - But when the forbidden months are past, then fight and slay the Pagans wherever ye find them, an seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war); but if they repent, and establish regular prayers and practice regular charity, then open the way for them: for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

Sura 9:29 - Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Apostle, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book [Christians and Jews], until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.

Along with the Koran, Muslims also follow the Hadith, the record of Muhammad’s words and actions. Whatever Muhammad said or did Muslims should do (kind of like a WWJD – what would Jesus do?). And Muhammad’s actions and words declare to fight the non-Muslim if he does not submit to Allah (Sahih Muslim, Book 19, number 4294). Islamic scholars and teachers throughout the years have taught that Christians, Jews, pagans and polytheists must either convert to Islam or be plundered, enslaved, sexually abused or killed (Koran, Sura 4: 24, 92; 8:69; 24:33; 33:50).

Muslim scholar Ibn Khaldun, respected in the West for his “progressive” insights declared, “In the Muslim community, the holy war [jihad] is a religious duty because of the universalism of the Muslim mission and the obligation to convert everybody to Islam either by persuasion or force. (The Muqudimmah, vol. 1, p. 473).” Thus violence in the advancement of Islam is necessary until the whole world obeys (Sahih Muslim C9B1N31 and Sahih Bukhari B2N24).

But what about the violence commanded by God in the Old Testament? Is this different than what is written in the Koran? The violence most often pointed out is God’s command for the Israelites to utterly destroy the Canaanites. “But of the cities of these peoples which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance, you shall let nothing that breathes remain alive, but you shall utterly destroy them: the Hittite and the Amorite and the Canaanite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the Jebusite, just as the Lord your God has commanded you,  lest they teach you to do according to all their abominations which they have done for their gods, and you sin against the Lord your God (Deuteronomy 20:16-18).”

To understand God’s commandment we must understand that the Canaanites were extremely evil people. They were brutal, cruel, practicing incest, bestiality, and cultic prostitution. They even sacrificed their children to their deity by fire. God had given the people over 400 years to repent (Genesis 15:13-16). When they did not God used the Israelites as an instrument to inflict capital punishment. The Canaanites were aware of God’s awesome power (Joshua 2:10, 11; 9:9). This awareness should have inspired them to repent. The example of Rahab and her family is evidence that not all the Canaanites had to perish (Judges 6:25). Most of the other wars in the Old Testament were defensive ones.

God does not desire the death of the wicked. He would rather that they turn from the sin than perish (Ezekiel 33:11; John 3:16). The violence commanded by God in the Old Testament was intended only for a particular time and a particular people. He gave no command to continue war forever against unbelievers. At no time in the Bible does God ever command His people to kill those who reject the faith.

In conclusion, the final and complete revelation of God is in Jesus Christ. Christ was consistently non-violent in his mission. If a Christian promotes the cause of Christ by violence he is disobeying his Master who said, “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you (Matthew 5:44). There is a difference between Muhammad and Jesus Christ.

 

 

The Difference Between Muhammad and Jesus Christ

Over the past several days the Middle East and North Africa has erupted in violence. The perpetrators are Muslims supposedly angry over an insult to Muhammad. When followers of Muhammad protest the reviling of their prophet with outrage, destruction and mindless violence, they provide us with clear difference between Muhammad and Christ.

 Islam was born in a storm of violence. At the Battle of Banu Quraiza (627AD), Muhammad had all the Jewish men assembled and beheaded. The young Jewish boys were beheaded after being sexually humiliated. The Jewish women were separated out to be raped or sold into slavery. At the Massacre of Kaibyr,

Muhammad ordered a fire set on the Jewish chieftain's chest torturing him to reveal the whereabouts of the city’s treasure. When he refused after great unimaginable suffering, the chieftain was taken and beheaded. Muhammad raped his 17 year old wife that night.

On orders from Muhammad, his soldiers would assassinate his opponents. On orders from Muhammad, Muslim women were buried to their chests and stoned to death. On orders from Muhammad, Muslims who were judged to be deficient in their faith were burnt alive in their homes. Muhammad through his politico-religious system created an immoral framework of depravity whereby murder, rape, and torture were committed on kefirs (infidels). And all of this evil was supposedly sanctioned by Allah. When Muslims today resort to violence they are only following in the footsteps of their prophet.

During his life Jesus Christ was called a bastard (John 8:41), a drunkard, (Matthew11:19), a blasphemer (Matthew 26:65), and a devil (Matthew 10:25). But if Christ had not been insulted we could not have been saved from the evil of sin. His work of salvation was to be mocked and insulted and despised so that we could be saved from the wrath of God because of our own immorality.

The pain of Christ’s sufferings and mockery were promised in the Old Testament—“But I am a worm, and no man; A reproach of men, and despised by the people. All those who see Me ridicule Me (Psalm 22:6, 7),” and “He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him (Isaiah 53:3).”

When Jesus Christ was actually crucified, “they stripped Him and put a scarlet robe on Him.  When they had twisted a crown of thorns, they put it on His head, and a reed in His right hand. And they bowed the knee before Him and mocked Him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!”  Then they spat on Him, and took the reed and struck Him on the head (Matthew 27:28-30).” All of this was done because “He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all (Isaiah 53:5, 6).”

That is the difference between Christ and Muhammad. For Christ, mockery and suffering was the essence of his mission and by it we are saved. Muhammad mocked, tortured and killed others to defend his own honor. And that is the difference between a follower of Christ and a follower of Muhammad.  Many followers of Muhammad follow in the prophet’s footsteps. We too are to follow in our Master’s footsteps. It is written “If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you (1 Peter 4:14).”

One day Jesus Christ will be revealed “coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory (Matthew 24:30)” to be mocked no more. And “When Christ who is our life appears, then you [the believer in Christ] also will appear with Him in glory (Colossians 3:4).” Muhammad, who honored himself will be “punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power (2 Thessalonians 1:9).”

Bill Nye the Science Guy vs. the Bible

Recently the famous “Bill Nye the Science Guy” was in the news. He was in a video that went viral in which he said that creationism should not be taught to children. “Evolution is the fundamental idea in all of life science, in all of biology…its very much analogous to trying to do geology without believing in tectonic plates…I say to the grownups, if you want to deny evolution and live in your world that’s completely inconsistent with everything we’ve observed in the universe that’s fine. But don’t make your kids do it.”

Almost immediately after Nye slammed the idea that God created all that we see in the universe, evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins chimed in. “I don’t think that religion has anything useful to teach us” said Dawkins to a reporter at CNN. He went on to say that evolution is an undeniable fact—“It’s as certain as the fact that the earth and the other planets orbit the sun.”

Well…don’t bet the rent money yet. If you are talking about microevolution, where changes can be seen within a species, yes, evolution is undeniable. You can breed a Chihuahua and a Great Dane and produce a Chi-Dane, but you will still have a dog. Sit Fido—good boy! Macroevolution on the other hand has never, ever been proven. One species has never evolved into another species. There is no evidence anywhere in nature. And experiments in the science lab leave evolutionary scientists moping next to their Bunsen burners.

A belief in evolution is not the result of scientific research as much as it is a philosophy. Belief in evolution is an “a priori” point of view. Harvard’s professor of biology Richard Lewontin let the cat out of the bag when he said, “It is not that the methods and institutions of science somehow compel us to accept a material explanation of the phenomenal world, but, on the contrary, that we are forced by our a priori adherence to material causes to create an apparatus of investigation and a set of concepts that produce material explanations, no matter how counter-intuitive, no matter how mystifying to the uninitiated…”

Let me translate; “We are not concerned about the facts. The only acceptable theories concerning the origins of life are those that fit in with our preconceived ideas.” Incredible, you say. Yes, indeed. But do all scientists think this way? The answer is, no. There is a very significant group of scientists, biologist, chemists, physicists, and geologists who do not support the idea of macroevolution. Here is a list of those scientists: www.dissentfromdarwin.org. And here is another: www.answersingenesis.org/home/area/bios/default.asp, and here is still another: http://creation.com/creation-scientists.

 All of these scientists (and there are most likely many more) deny that evolution is “the fundamental idea in all of science” and “as certain as the fact that the other planets orbit the sun.” Two times Nobel Prize winner in Physics, Arno Penzias, said: “Astronomy leads us to a unique event, a universe which was created out of nothing, one with the very delicate balance needed to provide exactly the conditions required to permit life, and one which has an underlying (one might say ‘supernatural’) plan.” Let me translate again, what he means is: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1).”

God Will Meet Your Needs

In the midst of our nation’s bad economy and the upheaval engulfing the countries of the world, let me encourage and comfort your hearts. God will meet your needs. The Word of God says, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want (Psalm 23:1).”   “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).”

But why would God provide for your every need? The answer is that He cares for you. The Bible says you can cast “all your care upon Him, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).” Jesus said, “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:31-33).”

Therefore make the Lord God Almighty your shepherd. Cast all your cares upon Him. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. And give. Give? Yes! “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you (Luke 6:38).”

If you are working at any type of job and receiving an income, take a portion of your pay and give it as an offering to the Lord. Be an answer to prayer and give to someone in need. And if you do not have a job find a way to serve, look for ways to help others, volunteer. In other words—give. It was because of the generosity of the Philippians that Paul wrote, “Indeed I have all and abound. I am full, having received from Epaphroditus the things sent from you, a sweet-smelling aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well pleasing to God. And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen (Philippians 4:18-20).”

Ask the Lord to be your shepherd. Cast all your cares upon Him. Seek first the kingdom of God—let the things of God be your first priority. And Give. God will meet your needs.

 

Career Advice from Solomon

All of us need good advice now and then. What if we could get it from the wisest person who ever lived? What if you could get career advice from King Solomon? Speaking to Solomon God promised, “I have given you a wise and understanding heart, so that there has not been anyone like you before you, nor shall any like you arise after you (1 Kings 3:12).” Solomon was a “wise guy” not the mob kind of wise guy, but an extremely successful king.

Here are four golden nuggets of advice from the writings of Solomon in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. Take the advice and run with it. You will be blessed in your work.

Work when it’s time to work

It is written in Proverbs 6:6-11, “Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise, Which, having no captain, Overseer or ruler,  Provides her supplies in the summer, And gathers her food in the harvest. How long will you slumber, O sluggard? When will you rise from your sleep?  A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to sleep—So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler, And your need like an armed man.”

The ant works when it is time to work—in the summer when the weather is favorable and food it plentiful. Like the ant we should work when it is time to work. Be self-motivated, industrious and diligent. The sluggard sleeps when he should be working. Proverbs 10:4 declares, “He who has a slack hand becomes poor, But the hand of the diligent makes rich.”

Seek good counsel

Solomon wrote in Proverbs 15:22, “Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.” Your multitude of counselors should be people with insight and experience. They should be people who are not only smart but who truly care about you. These counselors could be family members, friends/fellow Christians, co-workers, and your pastor. And remember the advice is only as good as the character and quality of the advisor.

Don’t rush into things

Proverbs 21:5 advises, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, But those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty.” Being diligent doesn’t mean being rash. We want to make good decisions, not just quick ones. Doing something too quickly without knowing all the details can actually slow a project down because of unforeseen problems. Rushed, careless decisions can hurt you as much as laziness and sloth. But then again, on the other hand,

Jump in

We read in Ecclesiastes 11:4, “He who observes the wind will not sow, And he who regards the clouds will not reap.” Sometimes you can be too cautious and miss the moment. There will always be unforeseen events and or troubles affecting your career or a project you are working on. Don’t always wait for everything to be perfect. Don’t procrastinate—jump in, “get ‘er done”, persist and move forward.

Finally, the one key to making all of this work well comes from another very wise man; the Lord Jesus Christ. His key piece of advice is about priorities. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things [that you need to live and work and be your best] shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33).” That is very good advice.